


Dead to Me

by sharedwithyou



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angstangstangst, Gen, Headcanon, Heavy Angst, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Thor: The Dark World Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24538447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharedwithyou/pseuds/sharedwithyou
Summary: Mildly Inspired by Dead to Me- Melanie MartinezOdin had Frigga. Thor had Jane. Loki had you. And you, you had had enough.No one was clear where the two of you stood, or for how long. Loki had his pride and you had your indifference. They knew you had stayed in the palace and visited him in his glass cage. They knew he had asked for you and about you when you were absent.Oh, baby, Baby you're dead to me.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 5





	Dead to Me

**Author's Note:**

> I couldn't come up with anything uplifting during these horrid times so this came out instead. Not sorry. If I made any mistakes in my fic bc I don't remember dark world so much, please ignore.
> 
> Lovelies, I'm so disappointed in the world lately. I hope all of you are doing better than me.
> 
> Black Lives Matter. This is not political of me. This is life and death. This is basic human decency, barely even compassion, just human decency. I'm not asking anyone to protest, or donate. Be open to conversation, even if it's uncomfortable, even if it means admitting you've been wrong/insensitive in the past. Be an ally. Call out those who live in hate and fear. 
> 
> I hope you all are doing well. Please be safe.
> 
> XOXO Bucky

You stared at his white body lying there; had he always been this pale? When Thor transferred him to your arms, he was cold as ice; no colder than you remember.

“I’m sorry, (y/n).”

His voice broke you more than the body in your arms did.

He put a hand on your shoulder heavily, faltering at pulling you into him. You made no motion to lean in, so with another pat he walked away, giving orders in a tired voice. He thought to give you space to mourn; and you weren’t ready for comfort. For warmth yet.

A few men lingered around you, to make sure you were alright. You waved them off; he was heavy, to be sure, but you weren’t going to be passing out anytime soon. 

  
  


**My condolences, Loki.**

  
  


You convinced the soldiers to leave you there; to leave him with you. They didn’t think you could handle the harsh reality staring you in the face, but you knew the healers could do no more. He wouldn’t be coming back anytime soon; not like this.

You folded your legs beneath you and sat down gingerly, placing the Prince’s form beside you on the ground again.

“He died well, My Lady.” 

No doubt. You nodded briskly and the last of the men dragged themselves away. They say not to speak ill of the dead; but it’s more than that really. To die a hero seemed to absolve all past transgressions. In fact, death seemed to erase one’s sins even more than physical presence.

He should be so lucky.

  
  


“Come inside, My Lady.” A guard had returned; Thor had probably sent him to check on you. A good man, he was. Always better than his brother. Even with Loki’s death weighing on him he had not forgotten you. It wasn’t so long ago when you had been forgotten; only there were no distractions then. Only time. 

“Please, Lady (Y/n). You shall catch a cold out here.” You realized in your musing you had made no movements. “The King has lost too much today; he must know you are safe and sound.”

“Very well.” You got up and followed him back to the castle, leaving Loki’s corpse for the stronger to carry back.

  
  


“To my brother, Loki Odinson. May his soul find the peace that evaded him in this life.”

You poured a little bit of wine into your own cup for Thor’s toast. Evaded wasn’t the word you would have used. At least not to describe the peace. Still, you raised the bottle to his memory.

“A good son. And a better lover.” You almost choked at this, but swallowed the bitter, burning liquid down instead. Did the events of reality, of history, die on the battlefield as well?

A bit of chatter later, you walked out of the intimate dinner. You made no excuse for yourself, and no one looked surprised to see you leave. To gather yourself, presumably. Perhaps have a good cry in the covers you had shared with the Laufeyson. Bury your face in the robes that smelled of his musky skin; to hold on to the memories just a little bit. Oh, if they only knew.

  
  


**Baby you’re dead to me.**

  
  


In your own chambers, you sat in front of the vanity, pulling a brush through your painful tangles. Loki’s hair had always been more manageable than yours. You could settle by him and run your fingers through it for hours, when he had the patience to hold still. Sometimes, you would braid it until he got cross. You heard that he was never patient with other women; his many other women.

Of course, you were the main one. The favorite; the one that mattered most. “The only one he truly loved.”

Those words would come from venomous snakes and the silver-tongued alike. The maidens would spend their time like you were right now, primping and agonizing in the mirrors; bickering of their beauty; and when that failed, their intellect and talents.

You never bothered. Maybe that’s why he chose you; so they would play hard to get. They didn’t understand that hard to get or not, their mistake was in playing. For the God of Mischief, it was all a game.

  
  


**Can you cheat from underground?**

  
  


Oh they all knew, whether they pretended to or not. There was only one lady for him. 

If that were the case, what were the others for? Boredom, perhaps. Habit, otherwise. It was a lifestyle one could get used to; especially one as handsome and charming as the Frost Prince was.

Odin had Frigga. Thor had Jane. Loki had you. And you, you had had enough.

No one was clear where the two of you stood, or for how long. Loki had his pride and you had your indifference. They knew you had stayed in the palace and visited him in his glass cage. They knew he had asked for you and about you when you were absent.

  
  


**Oh, baby, Baby you're dead to me.**

  
  


A rapping at the door took your attention. “It’s the King, My Lady.”

“Let him in.”

The doors opened and Odin stepped in with all his regality and wisdom. “How are you feeling, (y/n)?”

“It could be worse.” And really, it could be.

“I’m deeply sorry for your loss.”

“Our loss, Your Highness.”

“Indeed.” Odin was silent for a moment. “I know the two of you were… close.”

You could say that.

“I’m sure…”

You looked at him, impassive. 

“Loki was never very good at expressing his emotions.”

“I suppose.”

“You would never know if he cared if he could help it; but believe me, he did.”

“Did he?” It wasn’t a challenge against the Allfather. Just a question.

“Very much so.”

You lowered your eyes. Silence loomed. Finally, you spoke up.

“Will that be all, My King?”

“Yes, (y/n).” He looked undecided, before turning to leave. “Sleep well.”

“And you, My King.” 

He was almost out of the room when you called out again.

“Your Highness?”

“Yes, (y/n)?” He stepped back in slightly to look at you.

“About Loki… your son.”

“What of him?”

“How do you know he did?”

“Come again?”

“How did you know he cared? About you. About us.”

He laughed dryly. “He’s my son. Of course I know.”

“I see.” You turned to your reflection again, your hair matted and in knots. “Thank you, My Lord.”

“Good night, love.” 

And with that, the doors closed firmly.

  
  


Goodnight, Loki.

**Author's Note:**

> As usual, when shit hits the fan, Loki gets the shaft. I don't know what makes me reach for him when things get real angsty. But I do write about him cutely/romantically when things aren't shitty!! Anyway, Thank you for reading. Stay safe lovelies.


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